A Sister Company

...slow day...

Dwarf M.D.

Did you ever notice how the seven dwarves are basically one doc, and six side-effects?

Think about it. Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, Sleepy, Happy and Grumpy.

It begs the question, what does Doc have these guys on? Especially Dopey.

On a totally unrelated note, I wonder if they looked at Snow White and said, "Hi, Ho."?

Best. Movie. Line. Ever.

Everyone loves quoting movie lines. Immortal moments of the silver screen when a turn of the phrase would capture the spirit of the film or character.

The mystery of "Rosebud."

The unaffected nonchalance of "Frankly Scarlet, my dear, I don't give a damn."

The bubbling defiance of "Are you talking to me?"

The destiny changing "Luke, I am your father."

The passionate and sincere delusion in "You can't handle the truth."

The life affirming freedom of "I'm King Of The World."

The corrupting obsession of "My Precious."

The unconditional love in "You had me at hello."

The commercialism of athletics in "Show me the money."

The innocent blend of apprehension and anticipation in "Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?"

But none of these, in my amateurish point of view, come close to the pure honest, directed and determined anger captured ever so eloquently in this line from one of my favorite modern B-movies of all time:

"Fuck you, you fucking fuckers."

Blunt. Visceral. Honest.

With zero sugar-coating, no pretense, no remorse and no false decency.

You don't say something like that without meaning it. These five words strung together encapsulate everything the movie is about. Nothing more, nothing less.

The future classic was deadpanned by a grim Clive Owen while pursuing Paul Giammati and his goons in the movie Shoot Em Up.

And it's brilliant! When it feels like everyone is out to get you, it's the perfect phrase to shout. You can't help but get a rush out of it.

The line can be applied to all the movies listed above and it would change everything!

A dying old man's last words. A marine Colonel berating a pussy of a navy lawyer in his "faggoty white uniform." from the witness stand. A roguish punk on the deck of the Titanic screaming into the wind, almost decrying Celine Dion's siren song. The Lord of the Sith scolding his lost rebel sister-kissing son. A hyperactive football player telling his sports agent what he thinks of him. A lone, deranged cab driver staring at himself in the mirror. A chauvinist leading man verbally smacking his woman while all of Georgia is engulfed in flames. Gollum and Smeagol telling two closet Hobbits to suck it. The freshman blurting it out to the older woman.

I mean, just imagine if that was what the Bridget Jones chick told Jerry Maguire.

"Fuck you, you fucking fucker(s)."

If you haven't watched Shoot Em Up, I strongly recommend you waste some time on it. It's an unabashedly bad movie done for pure dirty fun. Over the top action sequences on a low budget with a video game plot where bullets rain like parade confetti. It features some pretty creative and imaginative uses of guns. Don't take it seriously. Don't ask " Is it a satire? Is it a statement?"

If you're one of those pricks who over intellectualizes everything and tries to find the meaning and thesis of this motion picture, well then fuck you you fucking fucker.

It's Bugs Bunny VS Elmer Fudd on crack. It's Clive Owen shooting an army of thugs while banging Monica Bellucci. It's bloody, excessive and gratuitous.

It's... fucked up.

Ka-Boom De Yada

In 2008, Discovery Channel launched this really whimsical TV commercial and asked fans the world over to make their own versions. In 2009, I finally got around to taking them up on the offer.

Piloto, huwag po.

Flew seair last week to and from Boracay last week. The aircraft was really old and rickety. Nothing like the squeaking, rattling parts of the plane you're on to make you reflect on things like:

10 things you never want to hear from pilots.

1) Aabot pa yan. Di pa naman umiilaw eh.

2) She left me pare. Ayoko na!

3) Huy. Sa tagal tagal ko na dito, ngayon ko lang napansin `to.

4) Pare, I lab you.

5) Eenie... meenie... miney...

6) Taragis. Bakit Japanese ang control manual? Pilipino ako!

7) Welcome and thank you for flying with us. Ingatz.

8) Brod, di ko makita yung likod. Baba ka muna.

9) Ohhhhhh. 45 degrees…. EAST. Linawin kasi eh.

10) Laki talaga nang utang na loob ko kay Captain Raymundo. I don’t think I’ll be here kung di niya ako pinakopya sa finals nung Pilot exam.

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My Last Temptation

Yesterday, I decided to go to the gym again. The fact that my membership was expiring in a couple of months and I had been remiss in my duties to my wellbeing were surprisingly sufficient motivators for once. Like the saying goes, my body is a temple, just like those delapidated ruins you see in those Indiana Jones and Lara Croft flicks.

Anyway, mustering the willpower to go to the gym is tough enough, they had to go and do this?
















Upon leaving Fitness First by foot, you will have to pass through that little alleyway flanked by two entrances. Walking past them yesterday, I could not help but take in the "comehither aromas" wafting from both establishments. The irresistable smell of grilled, juicy cheeseburgers, and sumptuous fries along with delectable McChicken patties dancing with the sensory tingle that only freshly baked Krispy Kreme classic doughnuts can give.

Of course, you can take your car instead. However, they were thoughtful enough to provide us with Drive Through window counters. On each side.

A veritable gauntlet for anyone who had just come off a grueling hour or so at the treadmill and weights machines.

I am proud to say I resisted their calls. Only to go home, plop in front of my TV set to watch the PBA games while devouring half a can of Spam and fried rice.