The title harkens back to my University days, when as a young, hotheaded and pretentious writer amongst a conglomerate of far more talented scribes, I was given a column for the school publication. Today, in an age where any unqualified doofus with an email address can have a column in cyberspace, it seemed appropriate (and lazy) to recycle an ancient one that pretty much reflected the same standards.I would like to take this opportunity to thank Sesame Street (especially letters J, M and the number 8), Archie Comics, Saturday Fun Machine, my English teachers (whom the school system forced to provide me with encouragement), Miami Herald Humorist Dave Barry (Pulitzer Prize-winning Purveyor of the Preposterous), and last but not the least, whoever programmed a thesaurus, spell-check and those green lines that tell you your grammar is, like, totally atrocious, on Micosoft Word.
You are all responsible for this.
Fair Warning: These are but the shallow rantings of a fool. Read at your own peril.
