The early bird gets its eggs served sunny side up.

Breakfast is my favorite meal.

Not just of the day, mind you. It's my favorite meal- period.

I especially love the breakfast meals at all those fast food joints and restaurants.

You know, the ones they serve till 10 am. And hotel breakfast buffets wow.

On the other hand, I despise getting up early enough for them.

Thank heaven for Pancake House, Tapa King and other establishments who champion the cause of serving breakfast all day and all night.

Although frankly, it isn't quite as satisfying as making it to those "morning only" meals.

But again, I really hate getting up early enough for them.

Well, I'm off to bed.
And in a few hours, the struggle will begin anew.

Mr. Bud Light Jingle Writer

Here's a little something for my friends in the ad biz:




Title: MR BUD LIGHT JINGLE WRITER

ANN: Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius.

SINGER: Real Men of Genius.

ANN: Today we salute you, Mr. Bud Light Jingle Writer.

SINGER: Mr. Bud Light Jingle Writer.

ANN: Even though your campaign is almost 5 years old, you still manage to clean up at award shows.

SINGER: I got kids that are younger

ANN: Hey judge, here’s my bud light radio ad, where’s my award?

SINGER: Recipe for success

ANN: While the rest of us spend months hacking away in cubicles and recording studios, trying desperately to come up with new winners. You have a formula.

SINGER: E equals Grand Prix squared

ANN: Insert Mr. witty descriptive name here, paste smarmy sarcastic wisecrack there, and top it off with a back-up singer slash glam rocker

SINGER: Hey that’s me `yo!

ANN: You’re so friggin’ brilliant, a whole generation of writers are left on the outside looking in.

SINGER: Do you guys have an opening?

ANN: So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Oh Fixture Of the Festivals

And here’s to you getting too drunk to write another ad

SINGER: Mr. Bud Light Jingle Writer.

ANN: Bud Light Beer. Anheuser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri

Swiss skills

Those knives of theirs make me wonder just how versatile the Swiss Army soldiers really are.

A batallion of all-around handymen who can open wine bottles.

With neatly groomed fingernails no less.

The Halloween Protection Racket

Well, Halloween is upon us again. Time for that classic tradition of having kids dress up and ask their neighbors to give them candy... or else.

I am of course talking about trick or treat.

In the old days, the kids would play pranks on any holdouts who refuse to give them anything. Now, they just cry or call them names and make them feel bad. But the essence remains the the same. Hand over the sweets or we'll let you have it.

Which, curiously, is just how criminal protection rackets work. Pay up or we mess up your business or home.

Chinatown Everywhere

Someone once told me that there's a Chinatown in every part of the world. A corner in each nation which Chinese immigrants have claimed their own.

There's one in New York City.
One in Florida.
One in Virginia.
One in San Francisco.
One in France

One in Toronto.
One in Vancouver.
One in Manila.
There's even one in Disney World.

But I really felt it was getting out of hand when a couple of years ago, while on a trip to Shanghai, China, the tour guide took us to Chinatown.

In China.

Yes Virginia, there's a Chinatown in China.

"Wouldn't every town in China count as Chinatown?"

Apparently not. Because soon enough, we were taken to a small enclosed town which was by far the most cliche' Chinese town I ever saw... and this was in China mind you.

Some one actually thought it was brilliant to put up a Chinatown in China.

You know, for tourists. For tourists visiting China.

A Few Words On Procrastinating

(content to follow)

5 Famous Songs as they were BEFORE the Final draft...

1) Every Other Thing She Does Is Magic

2) Lunchtime at the Oasis

3) Karma Iguana

4) I Grazed The Sheriff

5) If You're Going To San Francisco (be sure to say 'hi' to my cousin there)