Chinatown Everywhere

Someone once told me that there's a Chinatown in every part of the world. A corner in each nation which Chinese immigrants have claimed their own.

There's one in New York City.
One in Florida.
One in Virginia.
One in San Francisco.
One in France

One in Toronto.
One in Vancouver.
One in Manila.
There's even one in Disney World.

But I really felt it was getting out of hand when a couple of years ago, while on a trip to Shanghai, China, the tour guide took us to Chinatown.

In China.

Yes Virginia, there's a Chinatown in China.

"Wouldn't every town in China count as Chinatown?"

Apparently not. Because soon enough, we were taken to a small enclosed town which was by far the most cliche' Chinese town I ever saw... and this was in China mind you.

Some one actually thought it was brilliant to put up a Chinatown in China.

You know, for tourists. For tourists visiting China.

A Few Words On Procrastinating

(content to follow)

5 Famous Songs as they were BEFORE the Final draft...

1) Every Other Thing She Does Is Magic

2) Lunchtime at the Oasis

3) Karma Iguana

4) I Grazed The Sheriff

5) If You're Going To San Francisco (be sure to say 'hi' to my cousin there)

Be Careful What You Wish For...

There's this line from an old Gin Blossoms song that goes "Only Time Will Tell, If Wishing Wells, Could Bring Us Anything." which I always found very inspiring.

Perhaps one day, if we're patient enough, the things we've always dreamed about would come true. After all, we were never promised that our wishes would come true right away.

But then, what about the stuff we wished for when we were kids who didn't know better? Cause I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want some of these to come true NOW.

And I don't mean the wishing for ponies or that complete set of Transformer toys...

Nope. I'm talking about the stupid wishes. For instance...

I once wished to be a lion.

And another time... a zookeeper.

So if you're ever at a zoo, and you see a lion in the Elephant cage sweeping the dung off the floor...

... just give me a tip and move along.

It just dawned on me...

Today,

As I sat at my desk watching the sun slowly peek out of the horizon to dispel the shadows of darkness as it cast its radiance over this good earth...

I let out a sigh and said to myself:

"What the F*** am I doing in the office this early!?"

Honor Among Thieves

Ah Piracy.

There's a community of people here who download episodes of foreign TV shows and movies off the internet, burn them on DVDs and sell them.

I recently found out that a group of these folks (let's call them Group A) are ticked off at some of their fellow pirates (Group B) because these Group B pirates would buy discs from Group A... rip and burn them... and sell them.
They're ticked off because while they do all the "hard" pirate work, these other guys pirate their work!

How bad has it gone? You now see them encoding messages attacking the each other into the DVDs. So if Group B pirates copy Group A discs, and the customer views these discs, there's actually an INSULT against the Group B guys whom they bought it from.

For the pirates protection, apparently.

I'd comment on this... but the irony says it all. I can't top that.

I wonder...

... why Velcro shoes went out of style?


... what makes white lies white?


... if librarians ever take home books?


... what Scarlett Johanssen is doing right this very moment?


... if retired porn stars ever sit around reliving the glory days?


... if prostitution is really the oldest profession, were there any Call-cave-girls putting out in exchange for, I dunno... fire?


... if Father Abraham were alive today, how many children would he have?


... why genies grant THREE wishes and not five? Or just one?


... what pick-up line did Adam use on Eve? "Hey! You've got one of my bones in you. Want another?"


... how do we know Australia isn't on top, and some early explorer just had the map upside down? (Good Lord, we've been living a lie!)


... if there are any people with near death experiences that go: "Come towards the dark, child... come towards the dark, child..."

hmm.